My friend Susan is a "Breast Cancer" survivor. You know the saying, Shit Happens! Well, one ordinary day in Susan's life, after just turning 40, she went in for her yearly OB/GYNE check-up. There was no sign of trouble, no family history of breast cancer, just doing her due diligence. The doctor finds a lump on her breast and explains they should do a biopsy. A week later, in November of '02, she gets a call from her doctor informing her that it was cancerous. That was the beginning of a very long, frightening, debilitating and treacherous journey to do what it takes to fight breast cancer and save her life.
Susan is married, a mother of two children and lives in a suburb of Chicago. She had been a very successful business woman up until this point. She recently gave up her job to spend more time with her children. Then one day, out of no where, came this terrible news that threatened her life. I remember her struggle with how she was going to share with her young children that she had a life threatening illness, that would require her taking on a series of treatments that would leave her incapacitated at times for days. All this would be necessary to save her life. It was a very sober moment for us all, recognizing the fragility of life, and who we are for others as well as who they are for us.
She thoroughly did her research to determine the best strategy to take on for her situation. What followed was a treacherous year of having surgery-a lumpectomy, with chemotherapy to follow for five months. Following that was 8 weeks of Radiation treatments. Her body was so traumatized at one point her veins would collapse when the IV needle was inserted. She was so dehydrated from being ill after treatments, she needed to have an IV hooked up to her wrists for a few weeks. Watching her go through this painful process to save her life was heart wrenching for all her loved ones who were there by her side and did their best to be supportive.
Susan is the type of person that is completely organized with everything in it's place. She has been very successful in her own right in the business world as a sales woman. She has always been known to keep a flawless appearance; her hair done just right, nails always painted, make up perfectly applied. She took great pride in her appearance. For someone like this, you can only imagine what it was like to have your life turned upside down in this way. When her hair fell out and she had to visit the beauty parlor to have her head shaved, we, her friends, were crying with her. As she stated in a book listed below,
"Brian gently kissed my head and took the razor down the middle first. I shed a few tears, and before I knew it I was completely bald. I looked in the mirror and initially I was shocked. I thought I looked so old. But as time wore on, I kept thinking it's me. I'm still the same spirit, the same human being, the same wife, the same mother, the same sister, the same friend. I believe that Jordan and Monique were shocked to see their mom bald. The fact that I had breast cancer and was sick and undergoing chemotherapy really set in with the loss of my hair."
Her skin turned green from the chemicals of chemo. We did our best to keep her spirits up. When things got bad, I told her to hold on to a mantra to keep herself mentally strong. It was, Sink or Swim Baby! I'm Swimming!
After the radiation was done what was to follow was to try to remain cancer free. She was in a physically weakened condition with her skin still discolored for a while. From that point forward, for the next five years, Susan would have to take Tomaxifin, a drug to prevent the cancer from coming back. Side effects were loss of memory, sleepless nights, depression, and just absolute frustration, where some days she would just say, "How much can a body take?" This is where real character is born. She took on being a problem solver. She saw a specialist to deal with her sleepless nights, sought out medicine to relieve her depression, lastly, called her friends to support her and keep her sane. When it comes to Susan's friends, birds of a feather do flock together. She has an "All Star" line up of friends that make for a group of very talented characters across the board, that were there to support her in a myriad of ways. Truly, Thank G-d for friends.
Slowly but surely Susan got stronger, her hair grew back, her body started to mend, and she felt hope for the first time in a while that she was past the worst of it. In no time, she decided to help others stricken with breast cancer and had a large fund-raiser in her community for Breast Cancer Research, raising thousands of dollars. To help out with the finances at home, she took classes and got her real estate license. Two years later, she is one of the top sales people in her office. She will explain how going through this treacherous process made her stronger, made her wiser. She learned what was important in life, to embrace each day. She takes nothing for granted. She seeks out people who will fill her life with love and laughter.
Today, Susan Jacqueline Maman is a very successful real estate agent. In 2007, she was an award winner of the International President's Circle-top 4% in sales volume across the country. In 2006, she was an award winner for the International President's Circle- top 13% across the country in sales volume. In 2005, she was awarded Rookie Of The Year of the entire North Shore region of Illinois. Also, awarded Top Marketing Specialist in her office. She has had such a strong come back after her fight with Cancer, she is an example to anyone who has ever been dealt bad cards in their life.
The one thing that has been missing in her life up until now is exercise. Having taken the medicine for the depression that ensued as a side effect of the Tomaxifin, she started to put on weight. As a perfectionist, this was very hard on her. With her very busy life, her friends stressed how important it was to put exercise in her daily schedule to control her stress and help with the weight. Susan also is the type, she has to take care of everyone else before herself. She is a one man band, well in this case, a one woman band. I stressed how important it was to take care of herself first, so she can continue to be there for others for the long term. Finding the balance between taking care of herself verses caring for others has been an on-going process. Happens to a lot of us moms. I wrote a blog, Take a Walk. Susan read it and called me up. She said, "I read your blog and that's it, I am doing it." You probably can surmise at this point, when Susan sets her mind to it, she is unstoppable. Recognizing how difficult it is to make it a priority in her already loaded daily schedule, Susan, after visiting her doctor for her four-year check up and seeing she was cancer free, sent out an e-mail to her friends.
I am inviting all my friends, she declares, to celebrate with me in my five year anniversary of being cancer- free, by helping me raise $100,000.00 in taking on The Avon Walk For Breast Cancer, June of '08. She has invited over 25 friends to participate with her. She is on a mission, not one, actually many. She is taking on her health and making walking a part of her life for the next year to prepare for the event. By doing this as part of a group she is held accountable to her friends to ensure she prepares physically to take this on. She has publicly announced she is out to raise a very large sum for the foundation with the help of her friends. The walk itself will accomplish a very special bonding experience to have with all her friends for two days. An experience I promise you we all will never forget.
Susan is an inspiration to me and anyone who knows her. She wrote a chapter in a book, by Lori Ovitz, Facing The Mirror With Cancer. In this chapter she shares:
"Lori Ovitz's visit enabled me to learn how to apply my make up in a very short period of time. Looking good and feeling good are a part of dealing with the many challenges that life during chemotherapy presents."
Lori helped her feel attractive by showing her how to apply make-up, even though she had no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes. Susan's friend, Michelle, states in this book:
"After my close friend Susan was diagnosed with breast cancer I could not sit on the sideline. I was honored to be able to send Lori to her home, watching her magical touch as she brought my girlfriend’s face back to life…..through the hardship of breast cancer, three women’s lives have been interwoven. We are truly blessed: Susan, Lori and I."
Michele Fisher
Susan has taken this life threatening experience and used it to make herself stronger. After her recovery, she took on wanting to help others who are now going through the same trials and tribulations that come from getting breast cancer. We, her friends, will be at her side, supporting her and what she stands for in life and love as we take on The Avon Walk For Breast Cancer next year. Susan is a survivor and now a fighter.
If you are inspired by Susan and her story and think you too want to take on the challenge of The Avon Walk For Breast Cancer, it will be good for your health and you will be donating to a worthy cause. Do like Susan and form a group of friends to do it with. Bonus-The preparation to do the walk will put your body in shape. It will be an experience of a life time - for a lifetime.
An invasive case of breast cancer is diagnosed in the US every three minutes. One in eight women will be afflicted with breast cancer at some point in their life. It is the leading cause of death due to cancer among women. We are going to put up a fight!!! Come join us. If you are interested in donating to the cause, just e-mail Susan at: [email protected].
Here is a web site I found to prepare all interested parties for this two-day challenge. GO FOR IT!!!! You will see us there!
my husband lost one sister to cancer, had another sister survive brest cancer...and his son's mom(ex wife) survived cancer once and now recently diagnosed of brain cancer now only to live one year maybe. when his second sister got diagnosed, many of the nephews and two neices all shaved their heads along with her. i thought it was one of the most compassionate things i ever saw in a family. i want to do whatever we can for his ex-wife...without trying to make my husbands son think i am trying to take her place...no one can do that. i can only be a friend.
rob. you are my sister. i cant imagine...life going so tragicly wrong in our family's. not to mention 3x.
step son or not, i find it so hard, to know how to help if any.
he is turning 23 this year... in one year he might find out he is a daddy, lose a mom, and a place to live.
i know life is tough, and sometimes it seems their must be something more to bring you through. i find it very difficult to say much of anything to my husband these days. just try to be here. i guess that is all i can do. one day at a time, one moment at a time, taking each day as it is, not as i would have it. i say the serenity prayer often.
funny at my work, we always gave to breast cancer...now i married a family that seems to struggle often with cancer.
Posted by: rach | May 13, 2007 at 11:31 PM