I am deeply saddened by the tragic shooting of over 40 people at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg VA. Not only am I saddened and angered, I am deeply disturbed. I am sure I am not alone in this. I have read in depth on the massacre and what the student, Cho Seung-Hui wrote as to why he took on such a grizzly act. He was seriously mentally ill and obviously a threat to society for a few years now. There are two major concerns that stand out for me. One-why was the school or the police, after being notified of the disturbing behavior he was demonstrating, not able to have better control over this person and the people he was associated with? Should a private investigator, or monitor of some sort been assigned to keep an eye on him? The other concern, a serious concern, is where did all this anger- rage originate?
The only way to put an end to tragedies like this from occurring is to have an educated understanding on what events lead a person in becoming so angry that he takes on killing so many people including himself. We need to have preventative measures taking place in society to lessen the chances of people taking on mass murders for revenge. It will have to be implemented in the schools, starting in grade school. In one study, I read that they have found a high correlation with high school shooters being kids with a history of being teased and picked on. We are forced to study the life of this killer prior to this disastrous event. Too easy to say he was just a sick man and not look further. However, if we only look to blame him and call him emotionally disturbed, and do not dig further for the responsibility society plays into it, we will see more and more of these events occurring in the future. And tragically so, the amount being killed in these scenarios is becoming greater.
Bullying is abuse!. I was not surprised in the least to see there were suggestions in his writing of being picked on and bullied. How haunting were his words, "You have vandalized my heart, raped my soul and torched my conscience," he goes on to say, "You thought it was one pathetic boy's life you were extinguishing, Thanks to you I die like Jesus Christ, to inspire generations of the weak and the defenseless people." We may call him sick and deranged, and choose to play down those words. What I hear is someone who felt trampled on. I saw no hope of ever being accepted. He was someone who over time has been seriously wounded and wanted to hurt back. I hope there is a full investigation into his childhood and what significant events took place or what seemed insignificant and how it truly ended up creating a young adult- out to retaliate against all his aggressors.
The most recent report on how Cho was bullied came out in an article on AOL today:
Classmates in Virginia , where Cho grew up, said he was teased and picked on, apparently because of shyness and his strange, mumbly way of speaking.
Once, in English class at Westfield High School in Chantilly, Va., when the teacher had the students read aloud, Cho looked down when it was his turn, said Chris Davids, a Virginia Tech senior and high school classmate. After the teacher threatened him with an F for participation, Cho began reading in a strange, deep voice that sounded "like he had something in his mouth," Davids said.
"The whole class started laughing and pointing and saying, `Go back to China,"' Davids said.
This is a sad event for us all on a universal level. He is a statistic in society now, an ugly statistic. We have failed him and his victims. He is one who felt he had to harm others in revenge and then take his own life to send a strong message to we the living. There has been controversey as to weather airing it on TV is appropriate. I think with responsible reporting we can learn from this. How can we in society make changes and take on preventive measures so children do not evolve into angry, hostile and vengeful adults? Where were the teachers and the administration to support Cho through hard times through grade school and then high school? Why was teasing and bullying tolerated? Why was there no one to teach him coping mechanisms to handle such difficult situations? Why did the bullies not have serious consequences for their actions? Lastly, we need to figure out how to stop copy cat crimes. Where it becomes trendy to follow what other offenders have done. We need to stop the vicious cycle of mass killings of students.
One of my children had been bullied in middle school. One incident was, a group of boys took on spitting on my seventh grader's food at lunch during school, resulting in their being punished. What followed was other boys, friends of the perpetrators, pushing my kid into lockers in the hallways between classes retaliating for the boys being punished. I remember the pain my child felt, the anger-humilation. After the incident, he did not want to go to school and would yell at me saying so. He said he hated school. I spoke with the administrators of the school. They were having issues with boys in the class and how newcomers to the school were having difficulty fitting in and being accepted. They explained how this year specifically they were having problems with the boys in the class. The good thing was how serious the school took it on, making sure my child could be comfortable in the school once again. They talked with all the parents and all the instigators and serious consequences resulted. They hooked my child up with other kids during lunchtime. They brought in specialists to work on handling the bullying that was going on. With all the crisis management the school took on, I think for my child he still has a sensitivity to being teased years later.
The wounds from such bullying go deep. I removed my child from the class he was in and put him in another school, where he is accepted, having fun with others and thriving. But I will never forget the emotional damage and the duration it took to heal from his middle school bullies. He would share how they all laughed at him as they were hurting him, crying as he shared the tale. Bullying in school needs to be monitored and controlled. Right now I have a friend dealing with the same kind of issue with her son in sixth grade, I see the pain in her face as she shares how a child has threatened her son and picked on him. She is keeping a close eye on the day to day events he experiences. Sadly, the school denies anything she has said about what has happened with him. And yet her child fears going into certain classes each and every day. I believe the school is doing themselves a disservice and the children that attend the school. At the very least their response should be, we have not seen it as of yet, we want all our children to feel safe and welcome here. We will take a serious look at what happens during these classes and how your child is being treated. How difficult would that be?
Is it that these killers are kids that tried for years to be accepted and were only teased and bullied? Their sadness and frustration evolves into anger and resentment. No longer able to get positive attention they seek negative attention. Which would explain the gory plays Cho wrote, or how he would take pictures of girls legs etc. making classmates uncomfortable. His resentment festered into evil thoughts on how to retaliate and eventually did.
The family has finally spoken. His sister pointed out how they were a peaceful loving family, she further went on to say how Cho was quiet and reserved yet struggled to fit in.
For further understanding on the tragedies that come with being bullied or being the bully, check out this unfortunate but true story in paper back, Bully: Does Anyone Deserve To Die? A True Story of High School Revenge, by Jim Schutze. Possibly schools should have required reading on the topic.
Children are a product of their genes and then in society with what they are exposed to. Seriously, though, how many babies or toddlers for that matter do you look at and feel deeply concerned they may kill 30 or so people in anger with a gun in years to come? How about when they are five for that matter? You know, the age we say, basically who they are is pretty much determined by then. I have never. I believe come the school years, what children are exposed to plays a major role in how they behave later in life. We let our children into society for the majority of their day starting at 6 years old. They are home but a few hours with their parents. We therefore lose a lot of control over what events happen during their day and the effects they have. It is not only during school, but after school. They are exposed to music and movies and TV that as far as I am concerned have totally inappropriate material for their impressionable minds to be exposed to. If they are not exposed in their own home they will be exposed in a friends home.
At what point will we as a society step in and refuse certain material to be watched , heard or seen by our children of all ages? We complain of how sexually active our children are being at younger and younger ages. We get angered by the violence they express towards their peers in words or actions. This is a reflection of what they have been exposed to coming out in their acts. We need to limit the graphic material our children are exposed to. It starts at home, but that is not enough. There is power in numbers. We need to gather together and shut down the sites that expose our children to inappropriate material that leads them on a bad path toward destruction to themselves or others. I am talking about sites on the computer, on TV on the radio. Right now I have to go into a school and notify them I am disturbed by the sexually explicit music that is being played during middle school sporting events. What kind of example are we setting allowing such music to shout from the school speakers?
How many disturbing events will take place before we recognize the need to band together for the sake of all and make sure we better control what our children see, hear, or experience? With the freedoms we are allowed in society-we are therefore also given the responsibility to monitor on our own what we will tolerate and what we will not. We need to notify the schools when we see something inappropriate taking place. Shut down the channels on the TV or the sites on the computer that contain inappropriate material. If we refuse to watch this stuff the shows will be taken off the air given there is no audience. We have power. We need to take action-every little bit counts! Does it anger you to hear how the actions of Cho, who killed all these students, emulated people in movies? Cho had a photo of himself that he sent to NBC where he held a hammer, he posed like the guy in a South Korean Film, "Old Boy". How often do we see our kids act out actions they see on film after the viewing? What they are exposed to is impressed on their minds. The more they are exposed to certain behaviors the more it appears natural to them.
This is an awful way to have to learn lessons, but shameful if we don't. We need to recognize the problem early on, during grade school years. Early intervention can save many lives. Coping mechanisms need to be taught to those who have been mistreated. A zero tolerance policy need to be enforced against any abuse in the classroom or any other organized setting. Lastly, for those who walk around angry and depressed, we need to be able to identify them and get them help before it is too late for them and anyone else around them. God help us all.
My heart goes out to all the victims and their loved ones. The pain will be felt for years to come.
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