I am very happy to see my blog has made a difference already. Thank you to those who know me who have already written in response . I have added “e-mail me” on the left column so you can share your thoughts with me and possibly what you would like to see in upcoming blogs.
I have a friend who has a new driver in her home. It has made her husband quite nervous at times when their son leaves the house. Maybe you have heard of the group of kids who died in Ottawa just recently, joy riding at 2 AM in the morning. In our neck of the woods, several very unfortunate accidents have occurred, very “unnecessary” accidents have occurred. A friend who read my blog sent to me this article about teens that have died in Oswego and why it was unecessary.http://www.dailyherald.com/opinion/goudie.asp?id=282702
In this article there are some great rules set up by a parent for the safety of their children during these years. Please check them out.
It is quite nerve racking to hand over the keys and hope they will be safe out there on the roads. I was happy to see the new requirements for teenagers to follow before and upon getting their license in Illinois. If not in Illinois, check the laws in your state. Here, teens under 18 are required to drive with a parent for 50 hours and turn in a detailed sheet of the driving conditions and the times of each trip. After they get their license, for the first six months they are only allowed one non-family member in the car while they are driving. This is great, there is no peer pressure as it is against the law. State Representative David Leitch is pushing legislation that requires drivers under 18 to attach a sign to their vehicle saying, “New Driver,” As for me, I am for anything that can provide extra safety to these new drivers. It takes years to gain experience behind the wheel; not just a 3 month drivers ed class.
My friend brought up how their son was gone for over a couple of hours. Her husband was not comfortable that he had not heard from him. They tried to call his phone and there was no response. The Dad got in the car and went to hunt him down. The next day my friend shared how stressful it was that night. My suggestion at the time was to have their son write down the name and addresses of all his friends he usually hangs out with, and keep it in the kitchen. So, in the future they have a better chance of making contact with him. If he is going out with someone not on the list have a rule made that requires him to leave his name and number with you before he leaves. The other rule is for any teen driver to check in with his parents every two hours to verify they are okay. If they change locations, they are to call at the time they are leaving.
I was fortunate enough to have an agent from Farmers Insurance that required my son to meet in the office ( required by company for all new drivers) with him for an hour to talk about his responsibilities on the road before my son could be insured. This was quite informative. It is also more effective when they hear it from someone besides mom and dad sometimes. He talked about drinking and driving, how to handle accidents, the rise in insurance costs after having an accident etc. He also pointed out we should have rules written down at the house and have him sign off on them before we hand over the keys. So he is clear what is expected of him and the consequences if he breaks the rules. This was a great suggestion.
Bottom line for our new drivers is to realize this is all about their safety. The number one cause of death among teenagers is from car accidents. Driving is a huge responsibility. I find it even questionable that we let them drive before they graduate high school. My son would not like to hear this. My son’s school suggested a book for us to read for when our teen becomes a driver, Crashproof Your Kids: Make Your Teen a Smarter Driver by Timothy C. Smith. Every little bit of help is appreciated in preparing your child the best you can.
I have heard of so many accidents within a 30 mile vicinity in just the last year that have shaken me up as a parent. Kids three miles from my house speeding and end up crashing; one in critical condition, the other paralyzed from the waist down. A bunch of kids driving on neighborhood streets on homecoming day and the drivers starts playing games, hits a tree and teen passengers die as a consequence. It is no joke behind the wheel. We need to do our best to make our teens realize their life and the lives of others are in their hands when they take the wheel.
funny i heard a man talk about driving last night. he is a stickler for rules, this gladly follows him on the road. he refuses to go anything but the speed limit, and he is sound enough not to let what others think bother him one bit. he figures he saves the lives of those behind him by helping them follow the speed limit. i was encouraged by this, wanting to follow by example. the honking behind, only means that that person only needs our help even more, to slow down and take a breath. this might be a good thing to share also.
Posted by: rach | February 28, 2007 at 01:27 PM
My son just got his license today. For teenagers, getting their license is a major milestone in becoming an adult. It is a BIG deal.
Thankfully, he is a very cautious driver. Actually, he drives so slow it drives me crazy. But I just sit their and smile and offer encouragement. I hope he drives slow for a long time...even though it drives me crazy. Better this kind of crazy than worried crazy :-)
Posted by: DonDodge | February 28, 2007 at 03:06 PM
What a great day for your son. I am very close to mine. And I can tell you that no day up until this point can compare. It is like they turn a corner at this point. It is not your son I am concerned about but the friends he has, that think it is a riot to push the pedal to the medal. It is a momentus occasion-embrace the moment. In the mean time, don't heisitate to set up rules a head of time, so he knows what is expected of him. Congratulations and best of luck!
Posted by: Robin | February 28, 2007 at 06:54 PM
You said it best when pointing out young drivers need to understand the impact they have on everyone around them. As parents we need to stress the importance of how our children's actions not only affect their immediate world, but how one bad decision(especially behind the wheel) can easily change the course of their lives and the lives of others. Life is all about the decisions we make on those things we actually can control. We need to teach our children to make better choices and can certainly use driving as a great vehicle (no pun intended) to do so. Driving shouldn't be a given for our kids, it needs to be respected and earned. Tough laws and rules are great first step but it goes far beyond anything you can read in a book or practice in a driving simulator. We need to teach our children about consequences and the ultimate respect for life...their own and all those around them. Especially before we ever hand over the keys. That's our decision, and one we need to make sure we can live with.
Posted by: Reader10 | February 28, 2007 at 11:08 PM
As I sit there concerned what he would be like behind the wheel, let me tell you a little something that happened the other day. My son and daughter wanted to go to the mall. My daughter comes home and tells me he drove quite slowly and took forever at the stop signs. I think it can work, that when we are not along side them, that they got the message and will take the responsibility seriously. At the same time, don't want the kid so nervous he cannot enjoy this new freedom that comes with age. I don't think I would let my son, at 16, get his liscense if I felt mentally he could not handle the responsibility. I am thinking positive that he will show me I made a good decision.
Posted by: Robin | March 01, 2007 at 05:01 PM
When I was a teen and out at night, I had to call my parents whenever I got to my destination, and whenever I left. This was before the days of cell phones, so it was a pain sometimes, but it meant that they knew if I was in a safe location, or on the road, and about how long the drive would be.
Posted by: oliviacw | March 05, 2007 at 04:26 PM
oliviacw
You are not alone in having parents have the call in requirement. It is all about safety. I tell my kids some of the rules you may not agree with. You may not understand until you turn 30. I make them so you can reach this age and tell me all about it.
Posted by: Robin | March 05, 2007 at 05:28 PM