Robin Reports From In The Thick Of It

WHAT IS A PERSONAL COACH..EXACTLY?

         What I do for a profession. "So what do you do?" I am asked. I respond, "I am a Personal Coach." "What is that exactly?"  This is a great question.  This profession started in the early 90's.  It has not been around all that long. Most people are familiar with coaches for sports.  A personal coach is similar and then again not.

         If you have ever been an athlete, and many of you have, you have had a coach.  A coach assists you in perfecting your game.  For many of you the game may have been, basketball, baseball, tennis, football. etc.  As a personal coach, my intent is to inspire and encourage my clients.  Just like an athletic coach.  I also encourage my clients to push themselves beyond their perceived limitations to achieve more for themselves in their life. This typically requires getting them out of their comfort zone; their old patterns and habits of living. To get outside your comfort zone can create ambivalence, anxiety, discomfort, dissidence..you name it.  As my client experiences stepping out of his comfort zone, I am their to support him along the way. It is quite rewarding to hear the excitement and joy when clients accomplish things in a way they have not before.

       "What kind of support would you provide?"  That is your next question.  I'm on it.   I listen to what my client is experiencing.  I offer feedback.  I share my insights on the subject.  If a client starts feeling discomfort we discuss what that discomfort is about. Ideally, we can find a way to reconcile it and get him to continue onward. As a coach, I also offer as part of my coaching packages free support for urgent matters during the week.  By providing this support, my client does not get too far off track from what he is out to achieve. 

       I have also, been trained in many ways to be there to support my clients. I am a Certified Coach with Coach Training Alliance;  where we learn the principles,tools and methodologies for coaching people.  We don't tell our clients what to do, we have discussions as to what is possible for them, and they make the decisions. As a coach we have learned to be intentional at listening to our clients and to be able to ask thought provoking questions that expand their thinking. With coach training alliance, I took on specific coaching for weight management, singles and entrepreneurs. I am also a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming.  I use this training to help people learn how to better control there thoughts to achieve greater success for themselves.The client is taught to identify limiting beliefs, dismantle them and then create empowering beliefs that move them into strategic action. I am also licensed to coach people how to "Live A New Life Story" in their work, at home, with money or in relationships.  With this coaching, a valuable gem of this methodology is to share with clients how baggage disappears when you design a future to live into and focus on the steps it takes to get there.  This is what separates coaching from psychology.  We don't spend time in the past.  Coaching is present-future based.

       There are many different coaches with many different experiences in work and life that they bring to the table when it comes to their coaching. There are Business coaches, Life Coaches, Coaches for Singles, or Parents.  When choosing a coach, you want to feel a connection with your coach.  There should be chemistry between you that makes you feel understood and gives you trust.  Most of my clients have achieved a lot in their life in work or education.  These people typically have no qualms in getting help to advance themselves in areas that matter most in their life.

       Coaching is a partnership. I work with my clients to help them achieve their goals.  The client states his objective.  I work along side him to design the most optimum path to achieve his result with the least amount of time or conflict.  There is goal mapping, time management, priority management and helping them get past those moments where they start questioning themselves.  When life gets in the way, I help them quickly get back on track.  I have helped students in school, salesmen, people working on having their ideal body, people transitioning from divorce to the single world, and business men working on being more effective in the workplace.  Personal coaching is designed around the individual , working with their strengths and helping them expand and achieve more.

       I have been asked many times how do people find you?  I work with a group in Northbrook Illinois called Synergy Healthcare Associates. I also have done advertising around my area.  Other than that it is by word of mouth or when I meet people. If you think having a coach would be something you would enjoy in your life,  look me up on the web at: www.accessthepower.net  I look forward to hearing from you.

Robin

Success For One; My Take

To lead an individual to success is like being a real estate agent helping someone purchase the perfect home. The perfect home for one person is not the perfect home for another. Success encompasses many variables just like a home has many rooms. We all want success in our life, just like we all want a roof over our head. However, what success is for one person is not success for another. Like a real estate agent who is helping a person find their perfect home, as a coach I help an individual find success based on their ideal balance of needs, wants and desires. I call this formula NWD. A person who claims he is successful in his/her life feels satiated and comfortable. They have the ideal balance of NWD and are for the most part truly happy.

I would not for a moment attempt to define success in one blanket statement for the masses, or any individual for that matter. Each person will do best in determining what success will look like for him/herself. A person’s success, when dissected, is a uniquely shaped and weighted formula of NWD and it can in no way be the same for any two people. You can have two formulas of success that are quite similar, and yet like our DNA when you get to the nitty gritty we are all unique creatures. Success like DNA is unique to each of us. Not only are there many choices as far as how many rooms you want in a house, there is also the choice of the size, the shape, the color. The notion of what a perfect room is will vary from one individual to another based on individual preference. And, there are many rooms in a house, making the number of decisions exponentially greater as to weather a house is a match for an individual or not. Success like the perfect house has the perfect blend of NWD specific to the individual in each of the three following areas.

These three areas make up the skeletal base for success. The meat of the matter is based on each individual’s NWD in the following areas.

1. Primary Needs. No doubt about it, the first component is having primary needs met; food, shelter, clothes. Etc. Good health is part of this component as well. This is for self- preservation. You may be well acquainted with Henry Maslow and his list of the seven primary needs. I remember being a starving college student and trying to get these needs met and to pay for my schooling. It was quite a challenge. And once met, I assumed I would have enough. Post college, a few years later, life looked different. In my twenties, I went from an exciting career to being married, and living a life of mass material accumulation and the finest at that. As a child, I thought to have these things I would be living the dream life. Well, it wasn’t so dreamy after all.

I have found in my own life experiences that once there is food on the table and the bills are paid for, life can still be dissatisfying; even if the house is magnificent and the quality of food is superb. And, I had the most fabulous wardrobe and big rocks on my fingers and toes. Okay, maybe not toes but there were an abundance. Steak and fine wine were part of the weekly diet. All these things I had I call icing on the cake. If you don’t have the cake what good is a bowl of icing? Just icing and you can get sick to your stomach. I have driven fabulous cars that as a child I could only dream of. And yet, found myself quite unhappy in this world of material abundance. See, I was lacking in component number 2.

2. Respect and Appreciation. As humans, we are all social creatures. There is an inner need of respect and appreciation that we all want from other individuals. The level of respect and the form of appreciation depends on our NWD. For some of us, a select few who provide this are enough. For others, they want it on a grand scale. For instance, some people are happy being single and have no need for marriage. Maybe, they are well liked and respected at work, they have great friends and family relationships. My brother for instance, is one of the happiest people I know at age 33. And, he is not looking to get married. For others, life would not be complete without a marital partner. I have met people on each side. Another scenario is, some people want children and some people don’t. There is no right or wrong, it is a matter of choice. For those enjoying large numbers of people in their life, there are organizations you can join. Some people are members of many and some choose not to join in large groups. If you are receiving respect and appreciation these experiences will be rewarding. If the people you are with are not giving you respect and appreciation, no matter the number you will feel disappointment. No matter your choices, all people at some level are looking for respect and appreciation from others in some area of their life with the right NWD.

So now we have a roof over our head, food on the table, people to respect and appreciate us, and there is still a void. We have one more variable for success to make the formula complete.

3. We all need something to do. There are many people out there that have all the goodies, all the money, the looks, the fame, and have great friends and relationships …from a distance you would think they have the best life. You know, these people can be bored stiff. Everyone needs something to do. Humans were not put on this earth to just sit around. I have yet to meet a person that can sit around day after day and feel content. Come on, sun bathing on a beach in Hawaii sounds delicious; but all day, every day? Sitting around not accomplishing anything for a long duration of time does not fill our souls with contentment.

Now here again, how one person wants to fill their day with activity will be quite different from another. We are all unique with our own determination of what is enjoyable for us and what is not. It varies based on our NWD. One person wants to be a fire fighter it is not just his work it is his identity. Another person wants to be a nurse. And another person wants to be a rock star. How bout those professional athletes? Looks like a glamorous life with all that fame and money. After having dated a few, I found that life is rigorous and really tough on the body and can lead to arthritis and lifelong ailments. But don’t think for a minute they wouldn’t have done it any other way. Bottom line, we all need to fill our day with something to do that makes us happy. Too much to do equals burn out. Balance is key. If volunteer work does it for you, get out there and make great things happen. If making the next big invention makes you happy, go out there and do it. If being a teacher and having an impact on the future of this world light you up, start teaching today. We need you. The thing is, if you don’t like what you are doing, do something else. You don’t like your job, find another. You are bored playing tennis, play golf. Find something to do to occupy your time on this earth that makes you feel fulfilled.

There has always been something mystical about the number three. I have three kids and they are my greatest joy; cannot imagine life without them. The number three shows up in the universe again and again as a significant number. The pyramids are shaped like triangles with three corners. The holy trinity is made up of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Ceasar's famous words, Veni, Vidi, Vici ( I came, I saw, I conquered), and then there's morning, noon and night. “Three's a charm”, we have all heard that. In this case, it truly is. As a coach, this is the formula I use helping others achieve success. These three components with the right balance of NWD equal a life of happiness and fulfillment.

If you are looking for success start by looking at these three components in your life; taking care of your primary needs, being respected and appreciated by your fellowman and having something to do. Bear in mind, there is a diminishing point of returns in any one of these areas just like there is to the size of any given room in a house and what you can do to that room. You want to balance these areas to get the perfect fit for you overall. When you find the right fit, you will be filled with vitality and contentment. You will be one of those who can proudly stand up and say, "I am a success".

Finding Success: Deepak Chopra

As a Personal Life Coach, my purpose is to help individuals achieve success in areas that are meaningful in their lives. I turn to many sources for inspiration and education to gain insight so to better serve my clients.  Recently, I was given a copy of Deepak Chopra's, The Seven Spiritual Laws Of Success.  I found his book and DVD very insightful into what is "success" and how do go about achieving it in our lives.

Deepak eloquently explains how we as human beings, as well as all the things in nature, are all instruments of the invisible consciousness, the universal mind, that choreographs everything that happens in the cosmos at all times. With this premise, he further explains how true success is attained when we align ourselves and our actions in harmony with the universe.  He explains more specifically as he goes through his seven spiritual laws, as I will share with you below.

Law 1. The Law Of Pure Potentiality

The Law of Pure Potentiality is the understanding that anything is possible.  That the unknown creates for us a limitless space for endless opportunities and creations.  That we can embrace the unknown as a time to brainstorm and be creative to find what is possible for ourselves.  In this space, we can meditate in silence for greater clarity as to what we are seeking in our lives. Embrace the vast potential of what you would like to create in your life and the infinite possibilities.

Law 2.  The Law of Giving and Receiving

There is a natural flow of energy in the universe.  Deepak shares with us that energy flows through the giving and receiving with others in life.  These actions serve a higher purpose; a purpose of connectedness and to be able to relate, value and understand others. This connectedness creates bonds between one another. When we receieve we create purpose in other's lives. To experience gratitude is to feel the positive energy of being blessed with a gift.  To give is to put out there in the universe and be a part of the whole.

Law 3. The Law of Karma

Our collective actions hugely influence what life brings us.  We are where we are today due to all that we have been and done in the past. Life success, unlike momentary success, is based on who we are- who we be, not by "what" we are, or a title given to us at any given time.  Titles can be taken away at any given moment. With this, Deepak explains how at any given time we can take from any experience what we want and make a choice as far as how we will respond.  That choice factors in to determining our destiny, our karma.

Law 4.  The Law of Least Effort

Deepak explains how nature takes the course of least resistance. He explains that nature finds the easiest route to thrive and grow.  When we open ourselves up to what is possible and are not rigid with our expectations, we will make it easier for ourselves to find paths that serve us in life with less adversity. Having a "go with the flow" attitude so to speak.  He explains further, when we follow our true purpose, not expecting perfection, we will feel that things are falling into place almost effortlessly at times. If things are not falling into place, or we are experiencing great strife, this may be a sign we are not on the path that best suits us.  What would serve us then, would be to open our thoughts and expand our vision to seeing alternative opportunities, possibly better opportunities that serve the greater good and ourselves. 

Law 5.  The Law of Intention and Desire

I found this law the most inspirational.  As he explains, "Inherent in every desire is the mechanics for it's fulfillment. "  If the thought occurs for us-creating desire, we have what is necessary to achieve it.  Imagine walking around with that belief.  How unstoppable would you be, how confident would you be?  He shares that the power of intention, when focused and creating action, produces transformation and change in our lives. After all, where did those thoughts come from? He offers for thought, how we refer to God as the Creator.  When  creative thoughts show up for us, how can they not be divinely inspired.  We are, in essence, co-creating with God when we focus our thoughts and desires and implement them into creation.

Law 6. The Law of Detachment

This law I have heard of in my other teachings.  This is the process of being committed to a path in life but not attached.  To stay detached is to stay flexible.  If we are rigid in our thoughts or expectations we may feel things are hopeless or not possible.  Many perfectionists can understand how difficult it is to live with such high expectations. When we are flexible we have our eyes open to other possibilities, other avenues to achieve what we are after.  Deepak explains the power of surrendering to the divine will when things don't go our way.  Understand there may be a greater purpose that is being served and to make room by being flexible and open to the outcome. A new way of looking at things is introduced, "If you really want something, let go of it". You may find yourself living in the unknown at times like this, this is where excitement, adventure and mystery fill your life. There is also the ability to see you are able to survive uncertainty, building confidence within you for the long run. When things don't go your way, don't resist learn from it.

Law 7.  The Law of Purpose

This is the law that culminates all other laws.  The Law of Purpose states that everyone has their own unique purpose in life. We are all interconnected, here to serve one another, and our unique destiny serves the universe, the cosmos. Deepak calls it our "Dharma".  When we align ourselves with our unique pupose, our highest vision,  then manifest that vision into action, we will feel as if things are happening for us almost effortlessly at times. When we are not operating from our highest purpose, this is when we are feeling chaos, lack of fulfillment and disorder.

In this book, and his picturesque DVD, which was artfully done, Deepak shares with us how aligning ourselves with our unique inner purpose and recognizing we serve a greater purpose in the scheme of things, we are working in harmony with the universe. In doing so, we will "feel" fulfilled and on the right path.  A feeling of peace will overcome us. He explains, "Success is the expansion of happiness.  It forwards the progression in your life through the unfolding of your vision".

I truly enjoyed this inspirational book and DVD presentation of, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.  I  found the input of singer and actress, Olivia Newton John and director-actor, Bill Duke, and their sharing of personal life experiences, to add further enjoyment and understanding to Deepak's teachings. This is a source I will refer to again and again, especially if I am feeling off track in my life. The music and scenery on the video made the experience that much more enjoyable.  Deepak is so talented at being able to share his teachings in such a concise way; one DVD, one small book.  However, one would do themselves a disservice to not take the time to fully digest and process these laws and how they effect each and everyone of us in our lives. Truly, using these laws in our daily lives will surely lead us to living our lives at peak potential. As a life coach, in order to help an individual achieve success in their life, one needs to dig deep and recognize what their inner purpose and passion is, then their path will avail itself to them. In closing, enjoy the rest of your day.  And, Live With Purpose!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

An associate of mine most recently shared with me she would be breaking up with her boyfriend of two years. They had lived together for a while.  She also has spent time with his kids.  Her break up stemmed from her feeling they were not growing at the same pace and distance between them started to become greater. Last weekend she moved out into a new place on her own.

Lisa, we shall call her, was the one who chose this break up.  However, this break up stirred up a lot of emotions in her.  You get used to having someone beside you at night, or coming home to someone.  You have a sure companion to go out to dinner with or to the movies.  All of a sudden she is faced not having that companion at her beck and call.  She will be going it alone, at least for now.

Upon sharing this new life transition with me, I pointed out how important it was to love herself and be good to herself at this time.  What does this mean?  Needless to say, Lisa, is now in a more vulnerable state, a bit more fragile.  It is not like she is going to fall apart, it is just when changes in life occur, they have a tendency to have us feel a bit ungrounded.  At these times you have to give yourself a little extra TLC. Sometimes the person we have to focus taking care of first and foremost for the moment is ourselves.

How can one give themselves some TLC? Many of us understand how to be there for a friend or family member and how to give them some special attention.  How about for ourselves? Here are a few suggestions: Make sure the music that you listen to does not have the ability to pull you down.  Choose programs on the television or at the movies that are uplifting rather than tragic or negative.  Work out.  Don't forget, work outs cut the stress level down by 50%.  Also, they increase endorphins that create that feel good feeling.  Celebrate getting through certain moments.  No doubt there will be moments that show up when Lisa feels sad, or frightened, or frustrated.  After accepting they are a part of the process and moving on, celebrate you made it through that moment, those moments.  Give yourself a little pat on the back for doing the little things and remaining "in action" in your life.  If you need to lay down and rest, allow yourself the time to unwind. Pamper yourself a little, get a massage, a facial or attend a mediation session.  Call friends or family who will make you feel comfortable and provide support.  If someone is speaking to you and the conversation becomes negative, cut the conversation short.  Stay away from negative stimuli that may further disrupt your feelings of discomfort at this time. Read a book.  Sometimes reading a book is the perfect distraction so we don't dwell in the space of pity or worry. Go outdoors for a walk or a jog.  Being under direct sunlight makes us feel more upbeat. Create an environment for yourself that will sooth your soul and provide a space to heal and rejuvenate.

There are many ways one can care for themselves while going through difficult times in one's life. First and foremost one must care for themselves before they can attend to others most effectively.  Take one day at a time, or one moment at a time and celebrate having made it through it successfully.  Slowly but surely momentum will build and Lisa will find herself moving forward and new surprises coming into her life.  Remember when one door closes, another will open.  Be ready for the next chapter to start in you life.  As for Lisa, while working at a seminar, she met a new male friend who has already added some light to her life.